Consell Català de Ressuscitació. Aula virtual
Most Radical Relationship Books On the Market
Looking For A Woman to Get Married? Try Loveawake Free Dating Site:
Looking for a Wife in France: Start Here
As much as we’d all love to evolve on our own, there is something to be said for a little outside help. I view a good quality book on learning how to have more self-love (I hate the taboo term “self-help”) as a teacher by the page, or a voice from somewhere out there coming through print.
Sometimes that teacher challenges me in ways that make me feel uncomfortable – “no, that’s not me” or “nuh uh, I don’t do that.” Of course I do those things – project my insecurities onto others, blame outside forces for certain things happening/not happening in my life, look at the ways other people need to change instead of how I do – and sometimes I need to be called out. And guided in the right direction.
You’ll note the last two books technically don’t have anything to do with romantic relationships. Not all relationship books are about relationship to others. It’s worth working on your relationship to yourself every day you are on this planet.
Without further…well, you know – here are six of the best relationship books out there:
1. The Spirit of Intimacy: Ancient African Teachings in the Ways of Relationships
When I recently happened upon this book, I felt an immediate connection to it. That may be due in part to where I find myself in life, as spirit, ritual, and ceremony have taken the driver’s seat and I’m just along for the ride. It seems to me we often try and disconnect spirit from relationships, when it is what relationship is founded on – but our egos like control, and spirit just gets in the way.
Who doesn’t need a little help when it comes to lessons like the sacred meaning of pleasure? Or creating a ritual space for intimacy? Don’t most of us want to understand and feel a deeper connection between sex and spirituality?
Author Sobonfu Some gives insight into how relationships are approached in her native Burkina Faso, where her tribe has followed these methods of living and spiritual practices for over 10,000 years (think they’ve got a bit of an up on us?). In the process, she provides an accessible approach for Western couples to be more intimate with themselves, their families, and their own spirit.
As one reviewer notes, Some states at the end of the book:
“People may say that you’re weird, and that you’re reading about weird people, but you know, perhaps it’s time to celebrate being weird.”
I couldn’t agree more.
2. Love and Destiny: Discover the Secret Language of Relationships
Need some help finding the one, not just the best that comes along? There is book upon book (upon book) of how to find your soul mate, so you could easily just walk into a bookstore and walk back out with your eyes crossed none-the-wiser. Here’s one that takes a different approach than most – using the cards we normally play gin rummy and Blackjack with for their original purpose: tapping into your personal love and destiny.
Here’s what the book covers:
- Ancient secrets about the cards as oracles of life and relationships
- Your true personality type and who is the best type of person with which to be in a relationship
- Types of people with whom to avoid having a relationship
- Guidance in all of life’s relationships, in addition to romantic attachments
Reviewers note that although the system is a complex interweaving of birthdays, playing cards, and the calendar, author Sharon Jeffers makes it all accessible and easy to apply in your life.
3. Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Commitment
As we like to say (ahem…beat mercilessly in your brains) here is that in order to truly be with and love someone else, you gotta be in love with yourself. Cliche, but true. Gets truer everyday as we face increasing breakdowns in our economy, our Earth, and most things we thought to be stable.
Even as you grow a relationship with someone else, you must continue to grow in your relationship to self (and hopefully, you are growing yourself in part through your relationship). Conscious Loving asks if you are being truthful with your partner – are you really telling them your true feelings, or are you holding some things inside to “keep the peace”? They point out that this approach is not in line with actually keeping the peace, as resentment builds from unexpressed feelings and needs.
As a couple who has been together for over 20 years, the Hendricks explain how to let go of power struggles and how to maintain closeness and unity while still living your lives out fully as individuals.
4. US: Transforming Ourselves and the Relationships That Matter Most
And more from the “it’s all about you in your relationships” department:
“You are the fundamental unit of every partnership, friendship, romantic entanglement or antagonistic encounter you’ve ever had. And since you’re the only part of your relationships that you actually have any control over, working with *you* is a pretty good place to start.”
Um, yes. Plus, author Lisa Oz (yes, married to that other Oz) uses the Enneagram as a tool in her book (see below). I think I’m in love.
One of the best things that Oz states is that you can act differently than you were conditioned to. So many of us (myself included) fall into the trap of, “well, this happened to me, and that’s why I’m this way.” Sure, “something” has happened to everyone. No one gets off the hook. So whattaya gonna do, wallow in it the rest of your life? That sure won’t make for a good relationship, with others or with yourself.
The other best part is that Oz is truthful about her own downfalls. Cause honey, everyone of us has those too, and will continue to for the rest of our days. Doesn’t it feel good to own it?
5. Anatomy of the Spirit: The Seven Stages of Power and Healing
This has to be one of the most important books I took from my program in Holistic Health Education. It was one of the first to open my eyes to the sickness I was experiencing at the time being under my control. Waahaa?
But no, I didn’t want to be sick, I wanted to be going to happy hours every day after work with my friends and eating cake with wine after dinner. I didn’t want to be holed up in my house with no energy and a throat and chest which constantly felt like a bus had parked itself on top of my upper body.
Alas, it took me some time, but I figured out there were many ways in my life that I not only brought in sickness, but that I wanted to be sick. I had many lessons to learn about myself, and being sick brought them to the forefront like no other. I credit Myss’ work with seeing where and how I could take control. And really, that’s in every single bit of my life.
I think this is the only book in the world that I constantly reference, offer to friends, and essentially demand that everyone I know read it. It’s amazing to me how many people will say things like astrology, numerology, tarot, and the Enneagram are bunk when they’ve never studied any of them beyond scanning some website for two minutes.
Take the time at some point to read about the intricacies of the Enneagram, which is a personality-typing system composed of 9 types. Not only will you learn about yourself, but you will learn about others in your life – your co-workers, friends, partner – and better understand where they are coming from. Which inevitably helps in being in relationship with them. Plus, you will get clarity on your own patterns, which helps in figuring out how to change them.
Many Enneagram books are on the market; Riso and Hudson’s is my favorite. If you want a window into the self, start here.
What are other great books to improve your relationships?